All the Men I Never Married

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From the first time I heard Kim Moore read some of these poems, I knew the collection which followed must be a classic. Yielding an inference that thematic outliers are instrumental to the collection’s wider purpose, Moore’s fine poem of gendering, rules and recalcitrance is, or was, a losing battle. Many of us out here do not want kids, and without that desire, don't see the point of giving up everything just to have a better standard of living.

I don't totally agree with certain gender roles but of course I don't swing towards the house husband idea.

I mostly adore being alone and pursuing varied interests, knowing i won't come home to a slob, drained bank account or hopeless addict. I'm not the same person at 40, that I was at 20, and probably won't be the same man I am now at 60, at least I hope not, never want to stop learning and growing as a person. Although I'm working on my doctorate, I find that most men seem to view me as thoughI must be damaged goods since I'm in my early 40s and I've never married, or at least never had an illegitimate child. The best single poem prize went to Nicole Sealey’s Pages 22-29, an excerpt from The Ferguson Report: An Erasure.

If you read the above links, your dreams will be summarily dashed – not because he’s necessarily a player, but because the odds of ANY relationship working are slim, the odds of an ONLINE relationship working are slimmer, and the odds of a LONG-DISTANCE online relationship are the slimmest – especially when you haven’t even, um, y’know, MET yet. You can delay marriage and many people do these days, but you run the risk of never getting hitched. I saw him fall’) captures the final hours of a man’s demise as though the memory were freeze-framed. Young adults are taking more time to marry; the median age for first-time marriages is 28 for women and 30 for men.

In hindsight I have no regrets, and was incredibly lucky, but feel the gut punch of the range of possibilities within this journey for each and everyone of us, no matter the scale experienced.

I have tried asking women out on a date very few times only to be turned down and ruining my limited friendships with women. However, we as adults can change these patterns through hard work and therapy and by attracting more secure partners. Me: 'so in your mind it's healthier to create and break two families than delay the commitment a few years until everyone has ripened enough for a longer haul commitment?I only wish now someone had helped me learn what I needed to pursue a relationship and build a life with a partner.